Do you like to be alone or with company at the cinema: BFI Flare edition

There is no experience quite like going to the cinema to watch a film. Whilst you can sometimes watch a film at home and it can be great, it will never beat buying a ticket, getting popcorn or a hotdog, and a large drink. You either wait twenty minutes after the scheduled start time to watch the film or go in early to watch the commercials and upcoming trailers that interest you and pencil in the films in your mind to watch when they come out, only to forget about them until they eventually arrive on streaming or buy on demand.

But the question is: do you want to watch a film by yourself or with someone? The answer depends on the person. For myself, I’m a bit of both. I often find ways to go to the cinema, whether I’m at school or I’m free. It’s my thing. People have things that matches their personality. Mine are books and movies.

I don’t mind going to the cinema with someone, as long as they’re compatible with me when it comes to the experience. That means arriving on time, watching the trailers, not using your phone, and maybe having a meal afterwards. It may seem demanding, but I don’t think it is. When I go with friends, it works well and is often a great experience, but it only happens once every four months, and that’s too long for me. With family, it’s even less frequent. Also, when I go with friends or family, my “rules” are often ignored which annoys me. You might miss not only the trailers but the first five minutes of the film, then spend the rest of it wondering what you missed. Or you’ll notice the flashing light radiating from their phone, which briefly distracts you and makes you uneasy, especially when people can complain about the tiniest of inconveniences.

So, my go to cinema buddy is myself. It sounds sad and lonely, but it really isn’t. And it depends on what type of film is being played as, if it’s a romantic type of film, you see and hear the couples through the movie, acting all lovey dovey - which as a single male, alone at a cinema, angers me as it makes me wonder when is it going to be my time. Also, if it’s an emotional film, I’d want someone by my side if I got teary eyed. (I have never cried to any film, but it could happen). 

 
When BFI Flare came around, I had just gotten into film festivals, having attended the BFI London Film Festival, where I watched a total of eight films. I was supposed to watch eleven, but I missed three. I watched some movies by myself and some with family, and those were the ones I either missed or arrived late for. I was able to watch some during lectures that I decided to skip. Both experiences were good, despite the lateness from my family member’s part.

So, when the opportunity of going to BFI Flare came around, I decided to go alone. Although I could have invited family or friends to accompany me, I wanted to answer the question in my head; would I prefer to be alone or with a cinema buddy? Plus, it was cheaper than BFI London Film Festival, and Flare showcases LGBTQ+ films, many of which are harder to find elsewhere. So, I spent seventy-five pounds on eight films and was excited to watch them.

My BFI Flare journey started on a Friday. I took the wrong train and ended up missing a talk from director Cheryl Dunye, but I still managed to watch one of her short films of hers “Greetings from Africa,” a surprise before the main feature, a remastered version of “The Watermelon Woman.” It was a funny watch with an intriguing plot of a black director researching a black actress who played “mammy” roles. This is definitely a film you couldn’t watch with family as there’s an intense love scene. Maybe with friends, though it might lead to awkward eye contact or laughter.

Then came Monday, where I took a bus from university to watch the first new film of the festival “Satisfaction by Alex Burunova.” It was a complex film involving a love triangle and a very difficult relationship between Lola and Phillip, the two leads. Emma Laird, who played Lola was exceptional in this visually stunning film. This is a film you could watch with others, especially those who enjoy music as the soundtrack is great, although, unlike the first film watched, it does contain a distressing and uncomfortable scene.

Tuesday featured the film “Bearcave by Stergios Dinopoulos and Krysianna Papadakis. It was probably one of the three movies I loved most at the festival, so much so that’s it’s in my Letterboxd top four. It had my favourite trope, friends to lovers and the visuals and soundtrack made the film incredibly addictive. I’m actively trying to find a way to watch it again. I rarely feel this urge to rewatch films, as I usually wait years before revisiting them. Until it’s completely out of my head. Only a rare few movies, I’ve rewatched. (Norbit, The Gentlemen, Scott Pligrim vs. the World, etc.) Out of all the films I watched at the festival, this is the one I’d recommend to everyone. To me, it’s a perfect LGBTQ+ film.

Wednesday, I watched the remastered “Mysterious Skin by Gregg Araki,” which was the second of the three movies I loved most from the festival, although it was easily the most traumatic and disturbing film, I’ve ever seen. It affected me so much that I vomited afterwards. It was brilliant but sickening as it told a story that is not often discussed. I was even surprised to learn that it was based on a book. However, I would never recommend it to anyone I know, or even to strangers. It’s the kind of film you only watch once in your lifetime. Too traumatic and heartbreaking to revisit.

Thursday might have been the best day. Two movies watched followed by going to the City Film Society quiz/game night. The first film watched was “Montreal, My Beautiful by Xiaodan He.” It told a great story of an older woman exploring her sexuality with a younger woman and falling in love with her despite having a family. I mainly liked it because of the actress Joan Chen who is the queen of LGBTQ+ films. After an hour break, I watched the second film of the day, “Whisperings of the Moon by Yuqing Lai.” This was a fine film with a typical plot of a woman returning home where she reunites with an ex-lover, but they don’t end up together. This film was memorable because the lighting gave me a massive headache, so a warning for those with epilepsy. Both films are ones I’d watch with friends, although ”Montreal, My Beautiful” is a film, I couldn’t watch with family. After that, I went straight to university for the game night.

Friday’s film was “The Little Sister by Hafsia Herzi,” which was the third of the three movies I loved most from the festival. It told a fascinating story of a young Muslim girl who goes through a year of discovering herself and her sexuality. It was done wonderfully, managing to find a balance between being who you are and who you are becoming. I would watch with friends, family not so much.

The final film, on Sunday was “Little Trouble Girls by Urska Djukic.” It was the weakest film of the festival for me. It was a confusing watch and never seemed to know which direction it wanted to take. I wouldn’t want my friends or family to watch this film, simply due to the plot.

Overall, it was a great festival. Smaller and different from BFI London Film Festival, but still excellent. An interesting observation for this festival was that it was mainly for those who were LGBTQ+ and whilst there was a lot of people who expressed their support or their sexuality, there was also plenty who simply watched the films because they love movies and festivals. I found myself in both camps as I identify as pansexual, but I also watched the films for their stories and the festival experience. It felt like a cinematic pride which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Most of the films I watched wouldn’t be comfortable to watch with family due to the extreme awkwardness of watching a love scene with family. With friends, it’s more doable, still slightly awkward, but less so.

So, to answer the question I was asking myself: most of the times, I prefer going to the cinema alone. It just suits me. I do hope to eventually have a cinema buddy, but for now, I’m happy going by myself. I know deep down that until I find someone who is as obsessed with films as I am and loves the cinematic experience, I will continue to prefer it this way. And while it can sometimes feel like a lonely experience, it’s my experience and I don’t mind it. Cinema keeps me entertained and, in its own way, keeps me company.